Guilt doesn’t weigh you down, it lifts you up when you discover your values

Guilt = Proof You Have Values

Guilt isn’t something to run from. It’s like a compass, pointing us back to what matters most for us. 

Let’s use it to guide us towards understanding who we really are. 

Here’s a simple way to use guilt as a tool for checking your values, just like a map showing you the right direction.

1. Find a Quiet Space

Imagine stepping into a peaceful garden. That’s your first task: find a quiet place where you can hear your own thoughts. Grab a notebook or open a blank page on your phone. Breathe deeply. This moment is just for you. No one else is around. This silence will help you understand what’s going on in your mind. Studies say it helps clear your head and see yourself more clearly (Kabat-Zinn, 1990).

2. Get Clear on What Matters

Ask yourself these simple questions:

• What kind of person do I want to be?

• What makes me feel good inside—honesty, kindness, curiosity, or being brave?

• When do I feel proud of myself, not just because I got something done?

Write down 3 to 5 values that matter to you. Values aren’t stuck forever. They change as you grow. That’s normal (Schwartz, 2012).

3. Zoom in on the Guilt Moment

Now think about a time when you felt guilty. Ask yourself:

• Did I do what I really believe in?

• Was I doing something because others wanted me to, instead of what felt right to me?

Be honest with yourself. But don’t be harsh. You’re not here to punish yourself, but to understand how you can grow (Brown, 2012).

4. Look for the Disconnect

If something feels wrong, take a closer look:

• What made me act that way?

• Was it something I could change?

• Was I trying to protect someone—or even myself?

It’s okay to protect yourself. But when we know why we acted the way we did, it helps lift the heavy feeling of guilt (Reyes, 2016).

5. Move Forward with Clarity

If you need to say sorry, do it with kindness. If you need to change something, start small. If it wasn’t in your control, be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself: "I did the best I could with what I knew at that time" (Germer, 2009).

6. Revisit Your Values Often

Check in with your values regularly. It helps you stay grounded and true to who you really are (Rokeach, 1973).

Remember, guilt isn’t a sign that you're weak; 

it’s a mirror that shows you what’s most important to you. It’s like a flashlight in the dark, guiding you back to your true self.

 Accept it, learn from it, and then let it go.

"10 Things You Don’t Need To Feel Guilty About," -

1. Saying no without explaining yourself

2. Taking time to rest

3. Outgrowing people or places

4. Wanting more for yourself

5. Spending money on joy

6. Putting your mental health first

7. Changing your mind

8. Feeling your emotions

9. Not replying immediately

10. Setting boundaries

The space between who you are & who you want to be is where guilt lives – Embrace it to evolve