Overcoming Toxic Comparisons

I once lived my life in a constant state of comparison, measuring my worth by the achievements and lives of others. Every day, I found myself scrolling through social media, feeling inadequate as I saw people my age travelling the world, getting promotions, or starting businesses, becoming bureaucrats, Chartered Wealth managers, or Mothers etc

The more I compared, the more I felt like I was falling behind. I was stuck in a race with no finish line, and it was draining me.

But one day, I realized something that changed everything: 

I was comparing my behind-the-scenes to their highlight reels. What I didn’t see were the struggles, the failures, and the setbacks they had endured. I was looking at the final chapter of their story, not the messy middle. And suddenly, the weight of comparison lifted.

Instead of trying to measure up to others, I made the bold decision to focus on myself. I stopped asking, “Why not me?” and started asking, “How far have I come?” I chose to pursue a Law degree, starting from scratch, rather than rushing into a job like my peers, after completing my PhD in management. It was an uncommon choice, but it was my choice, and it gave me the space to grow.

The real turning point came when I realised that the only person I should be comparing myself to was the person I was yesterday. Every step I took forward - no matter how small - was progress. 

My ONLY goal wasn’t to be better than someone else, but to be better than I was before.

Morals

1.  Comparison can hurt your confidence. When you compare yourself to others, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind, even though everyone’s journey is different. Focus on your own growth and stop measuring your worth by someone else’s success.
2. Don’t judge your progress by others’ highlights. People often only show the best parts of their lives, but everyone has struggles and setbacks. You don’t see the full picture, so don’t let their "highlight reels" make you feel less than.
3. Your only competition is yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to others, look back at where you were yesterday. Focus on how far you’ve come, not how far others have gone.
4. Own your unique path. Your journey is yours to create, and it doesn’t have to match anyone else’s. Don’t rush into what others are doing—take your time, make choices that are right for you, and trust that it’s enough.
5. True growth happens when you stop comparing. When you stop looking at others, you’ll start to see how much progress you’ve actually made. It’s not about being better than someone else, but being better than you were yesterday.