“I don’t understand myself. Sometimes I explode, and it scares me. Other times, I go silent, even when I want to scream. Sometimes, I say yes, even though every part of me wants to say no.”
Her pain was clear in every word.
For years, Uma felt ashamed, believing she was “too angry,” “too sensitive,” or “too weak.” She kept these feelings hidden. She didn’t realize that her reactions had names and deeper reasons behind them.
When Uma felt attacked, her body chose to fight, protecting her through anger and defensiveness.
When life felt unbearable, Uma chose to flee, escaping through avoidance and constant distraction.
When memories became too painful, Uma froze, numbing herself just to survive the moment.
When Uma feared losing love, she tried to please others, putting everyone else first and forgetting her own needs.
I reached out and held her hand, my voice gentle.
“Uma, these aren’t failures. They are the ways a younger version of you learned to survive in a world that felt unsafe. You did what you had to do to keep going.”
Uma wept not because she was broken, but because she was grieving the years she spent blaming herself. For the first time, she was able to see herself with compassion.
Over time, Uma learned to pause when old fears resurfaced. She would place a trembling hand on her heart and ask, “Am I truly in danger, or is my body remembering?” Each breath took courage. She learned to set gentle boundaries, honor her needs, and give herself the same kindness she had always offered others.
Months later, Uma’s eyes reflected a quiet strength. “I always thought I was broken and needed fixing,” she said softly. “But now I see that I just needed understanding.”
Moral: Survival responses are not weaknesses. They are messages from a nervous system that once protected you. Healing begins when you stop fighting yourself and start listening with kindness. You are not what happened to you. You are the brave soul who endured and survived.
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